September 21, 2012
But R. J. Breckinridge was a contented and happy old man as well! Into the summer of 1868 he was lonely and miserable, but as I like to say, history never moves in the same direction for long! There were a number of changes in the summer and fall of 1868 that were conducive to his happiness:
1) While church affairs in Kentucky went from bad to worse (as the “rebel” Synod prepared to unite with the Southern Presbyterian Church), RJB was highly sought after as a speaker and writer in the Grant campaign that resulted in the election of Ulysses S. Grant as president of the United States. [General Grant also gave RJB’s son, Joseph, a six month leave of absence to take care of his late brother, Charley’s affairs]. Whether praised (in the Republican press), or damned (in the Democratic press), RJB was back in the limelight!
2) Speaking of Joseph, he married his late brother’s fiancee, Louise Dudley [Incidentally, Joseph’s eldest sister, Mary, who was supposed to have orchestrated the match, thought that Lou was the perfect soldier’s wife, because she didn’t seem to care whether she could match her skirt to her blouse]. Sister Sophy (in New York) howled that Lou would desecrate Charley’s memory by marrying his brother only 11 months after his death — but then in the next breath hoped that Joseph and Lou would come visit them when they passed through New York back to California!
3) Speaking of marriage, on November 5, 1868, RJB married for the third time. His new wife, Margaret Faulkner White, was 35 year old widow with small children of her own — but he needed someone who would take care of him, and she needed someone who would provide for her and her children. While all three of RJB’s surviving daughters commented to him about how “quite quite young” she was (Mary was now 40 years old, and did not quite relish the thought of calling a 35 year old “mother”), the children all agreed that he needed someone to look after him.
4) Speaking of looking after RJB, the person who seemed most afraid of the change (from what I can gather) was Betty Cowan. In my last note, I referred to RJB’s frustration with his domestic help. Betty Cowan had remained with him after all the other former slaves had left. In 1867 she had married, and her husband had persuaded her to leave RJB’s employ — but life for the freedmen in Kentucky was hard — and so Betty returned to keep house for the “old Doctor.” She was especially fond of John — and wrote to him often while he studied at Princeton. At least one of her letters betrays her fears that the new Mrs. Breckinridge would disrupt “her” house!
5) Perhaps most important of all was his reconciliation with Issa — Willie’s wife. From 1862-1868 there had been virtually no contact between them. Her bitterness towards her father-in-law (whom she viewed as the personification of the hated Yankees) and his patronizing attempts to contact her during the war had resulted in an equally bitter cold war that lasted long after the rest of the Breckinridge clan had reconciled. After two years of icy silence, Willie urged his father to reach out to Issa (since RJB had *never* seen Sophy — the daughter named after Willie’s mother — and had only seen Ella — now five years old — in the street). Charley’s death seems to have done something to soften RJB, and perhaps also Issa. His father replied that his silence toward Issa was not hostility, but simply the inability to communicate with a person who had rebuffed every effort he had ever made. A year later in September of 1868 Willie convinced Issa to take the children for a visit to RJB’s house, and after a few further pleasantries were exchanged, Issa invited RJB to stay for a week at their place in Lexington after RJB’s wedding, even referring to him as “dear Father” for the first time.
Finally — fully three years after the end of the War — the Breckinridge family was at peace with each other.
6) And last, but not least, in the summer of 1868 Danville Theological Seminary finally reopened its doors with the General Assembly’s blessing, and around a dozen students enrolled. RJB was back in the saddle, training pastors for the church he loved. (Admittedly, he almost immediately had one student try to leave due to his comment about the “ingratitude” of more than half of DTS’s graduates who now served in the “rebel” Synod that was seeking to align with the Southern General Assembly. One student admitted that *he* intended to serve in the southern church, and so sought a dismissal. RJB refused — suggesting that the student had misunderstood his comment…)
So…while as charmingly cantankerous as ever, by the end of 1868, RJB was as happy as he had been for many, many years.
