How do THEIR kids sit so quietly?
This is the question in the minds of many parents of small children as they struggle to parent in the pew. The answer to this question is pretty simple: those parents were YOU at one point. Those children were not born quiet and obedient!
A child’s natural, normal behavior is somewhat like a puppy: everywhere at once, peeing in the wrong places, chewing on the wrong things, barking/talking at the most inappropriate times! And in a similar way, it’s about training, lots of training. And lots of wondering if it’s even worth it…
The difference to keep in mind that it IS worth it, because they were created in the image of God and were baptized into His family, children can praise their Father, they can glorify HIm!
We are created in a beautiful way. Created in the image of our God! But tainted by SIn–But Redeemed by the blood of Jesus! This “sin” thing really messes with us, it twists something beautiful into something messy and hard–for right now. It confuses us and makes us doubt that we can change–or that our children can change. But remember that the promise of deliverance is for you AND your children. And that God gives His Word to all of us for knowing Him, for understanding Him and for Enjoying Him.
A few years ago, I was still struggling through toddlers beside me in the pew thinking ”What’s the point here?”. Why should I have my kids who don’t understand any of this in Worship with me? “Why am I in Worship?” I had conversations with friends, I listened to sermons (well, parts of sermons…I still had to leave during the service for kid-related reasons) and the thought came to me, “We come to hear the Word, we come to know and love God, to respond to His love to us with voices of confession, of thankfulness and of Praise.” All the rest, the sitting still, the snacks/no snacks, the Do-you-really-need-to-pee-or-do-you-just-want-out, the to spank or not to spank, all this was not the point, the point was, “These are children of God, the way that children learn and grow is to hear their Father’s voice so they can be like Him–so they can see His Power, know His love, feel His Grace.”
I actually like to imagine that we are all gathered (ALL the saints–not just MCPC) in a big yard, we are in the sunshine that is perfectly tempered so that each is comfortable, and we are seeing Jesus and hearing His voice. And we don’t want to be anywhere else.
“Yet you are He who took me from the womb, you made me trust you at my mother’s breasts.” Psalm 22:9
So here is a thought, if we can focus right now on listening, on hearing the Word — the Word will change us. It will change our children. Our job is to teach them to Listen. God’s job is to change their hearts. When your child talks during the sermon, motion to them to quiet their mouths, and Listen with their ears. (No one can really listen while they themselves are talking…!)
When the congregation is singing, or otherwise responding verbally to God, ecourage your children to do so as well. Expect it of them. We ALL do ALL of this together, corporate worship IS worship together.
If you are going through a time in your training where yor child is having difficulty restraining their tongue, then there are mutiple options available: You can take your child out of the service to speak with them about “listening, not talking”– and then return to service (the Quieting Room works well for this), or you can make use of the Training Room so that you can train your child in a setting that allows hearing of the Word for you/your child, but also keeps your childs voice confined to that room. While we want our children to worship with us and to hear the Word. We also want to be considerate to the rest of the congregation and enable them to hear the Word as well!
And remember: we are all doing this together. Ask those other familes, “How did/do you do it?”. Ask for assistance for during the service. There are teens/families who would love to sit close by to help as needed. I used to have a friend sit with me every Sunday, she would hold the newest baby, and I could train the toddler. This is what family does. We walk through this together.
