An Apology for Apologies

by Michiana Covenant | May 12, 2016 | 2 Corinthians, Pastoral Practice, Repentance

In my preaching I have often distinguished between repentance and apology: repentance is where you turn from sin to God and admit your fault, while an apology is an attempt to defend yourself. I have usually said that an apology is appropriate for a mistake, whereas repentance is appropriate for sin.

But in 2 Corinthians 7:10-11, Paul commends the Corinthians repentance — and their apology! As soon as I saw this, it made perfect sense of so many situations of interpersonal conflict. Too often, when we confront someone about their sin, we simply demand repentance and refuse to hear any “explanation” (thinking that the explanation is being offered as an excuse). But Paul is demonstrating a different way. He wants to hear their explanation — their “apology” for their actions — because that will further open communication between them.

Think about how Paul says this:

¹⁰ For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

What is the difference between godly grief and worldly grief? John Chrysostom says it well: “Worldly sorrow…is regret for the loss of money, reputation, and friends. That kind of sorrow merely leads to greater harm, because the regret is often a prelude to a thirst for revenge. Only sorrow for sin is really profitable.” (quoted in Guthrie, 379)

Proverbs 9:7-8 says, “Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you.”

How do you respond when someone rebukes you? Godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret. Verse 11 shows us what this looks like:

¹¹ For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment!

Paul uses seven words to describe the Corinthians’ godly response: the first is “earnestness” – haste – being eager to deal with the problem.

But second, they defended themselves – being eager “to clear yourselves.” This is the word “apologia” – where we get our word “apology.” This word refers to the idea of defending yourself. An apology is a defense of your actions. When you apologize, you are explaining yourself. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you standing there.” “I’m sorry, I was reading a book and I lost track of time.” Those are apologies. If you tell your child, “Apologize to your sister,”you are telling your child to explain their reasons why they did something.

And Paul says here that apologies can be a good thing! Even when you realize that you have sinned, you may still need to offer an apology! You may need to say, “Yes, I was wrong – I sinned against you – and here’s the context to help you understand what happened.”

Paul does not give us all the details of what the Corinthians said to him – but plainly he was satisfied by the combination of repentance and apology that he received.

The third word – what indignation – is a much stronger word. It can refer to displeasure, annoyance, anger, even rage. The object of their indignation is not clear. Possibly they are enraged at the false teachers. Maybe they are upset at themselves for their own blindness. But godly sorrow will produce indignation in you. Godly sorrow will produce strong emotions in you!

The fourth word – what fear – shows how the Corinthians have realized the severity of what they have done. In v15 Paul will speak of the “fear and trembling” with which they received Titus. Why does the wise man love the one who rebukes him? Because the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom! Why is this person rebuking me? If this person is rebuking me out of love – then maybe I’ve missed something – maybe I need to hear what this person is saying.

The fifth word, “what longing” – is the same word used in verse 7 – where Titus told Paul of their longing for him.

And this is closely related to the sixth word – “what zeal” – which speaks of their enthusiasm for Paul – reflecting their dedication to the gospel and to Paul himself.

The final word “what punishment” focuses on the outcome: the word could be translated “what vengeance” or “what retaliation.” It has to do with the dispensing of justice. We saw back in 2:6 that Paul spoke of how the punishment inflicted by the majority was sufficient.

And so, at the end of verse 11, Paul says:

At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter.

They were guilty. That’s why Paul wrote the severe letter! But now they are innocent! How can the guilty become innocent? By repentance! And by bearing fruit in keeping with repentance.

So how do you demonstrate godly sorrow? Well, when someone shows you your sin, you should respond with earnestness – promptly dealing with the sin – you should respond with an apology – explaining the situation (not to excuse yourself – but to clear yourself by specifying exactly what has happened); and you should respond with indignation, fear, longing, zeal – real emotions that express your concern that the relationship be restored! – and with “punishment” – with proper consequences that will demonstrate fruit in keeping with repentance.

And when you are confronting someone else, remember that if we demand only repentance — if we refuse to hear a person’s apology — then we are claiming to be higher than God (after all, even God asked Adam to explain himself!).

Peter J. Wallace