How do THEIR kids sit so quietly?

by | Sep 25, 2016 | Ginger Wallace, Women's Ministry

This is the question in the minds of many parents of small children as they struggle to parent in the pew. The answer to this question is pretty simple: those parents were YOU at one point. Those children were not born quiet and obedient!

A child’s natural, normal behavior is somewhat like a puppy: everywhere at once, peeing in the wrong places, chewing on the wrong things, barking/talking at the most inappropriate times! And in a similar way, it’s about training, lots of training. And lots of wondering if it’s even worth it…

The difference to keep in mind that it IS worth it, because they were created in the image of God and were baptized into His family, children can praise their Father, they can glorify HIm!

We are created in a beautiful way. Created in the image of our God!   But tainted by SIn–But Redeemed by the blood of Jesus! This “sin” thing really messes with us, it twists something beautiful into something messy and hard–for right now. It confuses us and makes us doubt that we can change–or that our children can change. But remember that the promise of deliverance is for you AND your children. And that God gives His Word to all of us for knowing Him, for understanding Him and for Enjoying Him.

A few years ago, I was still struggling through toddlers beside me in the pew thinking ”What’s the point here?”. Why should I have my kids who don’t understand any of this in Worship with me? “Why am I in Worship?” I had conversations with friends, I listened to sermons (well, parts of sermons…I still had to leave during the service for kid-related reasons) and the thought came to me, “We come to hear the Word, we come to know and love God, to respond to His love to us with voices of confession, of thankfulness and of Praise.” All the rest, the sitting still, the snacks/no snacks, the Do-you-really-need-to-pee-or-do-you-just-want-out, the to spank or not to spank, all this was not the point, the point was, “These are children of God, the way that children learn and grow is to hear their Father’s voice so they can be like Him–so they can see His Power, know His love, feel His Grace.”

I actually like to imagine that we are all gathered (ALL the saints–not just MCPC) in a big yard, we are in the sunshine that is perfectly tempered so that each is comfortable, and we are seeing Jesus and hearing His voice. And we don’t want to be anywhere else.

“Yet you are He who took me from the womb, you made me trust you at my mother’s breasts.” Psalm 22:9

So here is a thought, if we can focus right now on listening, on hearing the Word — the Word will change us. It will change our children. Our job is to teach them to Listen. God’s job is to change their hearts. When your child talks during the sermon, motion to them to quiet their mouths, and Listen with their ears. (No one can really listen while they themselves are talking…!)

When the congregation is singing, or otherwise responding verbally to God, ecourage your children to do so as well. Expect it of them. We ALL do ALL of this together, corporate worship IS worship together.

If you are going through a time in your training where yor child is having difficulty restraining their tongue, then there are mutiple options available: You can take your child out of the service to speak with them about “listening, not talking”– and then return to service (the Quieting Room works well for this), or you can make use of the Training Room so that you can train your child in a setting that allows hearing of the Word for you/your child, but also keeps your childs voice confined to that room. While we want our children to worship with us and to hear the Word. We also want to be considerate to the rest of the congregation and enable them to hear the Word as well!

And remember: we are all doing this together. Ask those other familes, “How did/do you do it?”. Ask for assistance for during the service. There are teens/families who would love to sit close by to help as needed. I used to have a friend sit with me every Sunday, she would hold the newest baby, and I could train the toddler. This is what family does. We walk through this together.

We Are Created to Be More Than This

by | Oct 8, 2012 | Ginger Wallace, Marriage, Parenting, Pastoral Notes, Women, Women's Ministry

by Virginia Wallace

I said yes. Because it seemed like the right thing to do. I am not the leader-type – but I am also not the type that likes to be told how to raise my kids – or how I am not raising my kids – or respecting my husband, or whatever the thing is that everyone else thinks that I should do.

This is why I said ‘yes.’ Because I thought it was what I was supposed to do – even though my first thought was – NO – this is not what I do. In fact, going to China with my husband is not what I do, not when it means leaving my children behind. God made me a woman. This much is obvious. God also made me a wife – this too is quite clear. He also made me a mother. And here I want to stop. This seems like it should be enough for me to handle. And if I think about it and be realistic  – this is all I can handle – though I can’t even handle this on my own.

So, why am I HERE? Because God created us to be more than this. He created us to need each other – to bear one another’s burdens, to build up one another towards faith and good works – to show forth his glory to all men. To show hospitality to the stranger, to care for those afflicted – to wash the feet of the saints.

1 Timothy 5:9-10 gives us good insight in this way, to show us what we should have been. It’s kind of a look backward:

“Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, having a reputation for good works, if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, has devoted herself to every good work.”

This is what we are called to be now:

a wife, known for good works

a mother, opening her home to strangers

a servant, caring for those in need.

What does this look like right now? Will it look different next year? When my youngest is five?

Yes. It will look differently at each stage or season of your life. If you have young children and are trying to just figure out how to get enough sleep much less show hospitality or do good works, or care for the less fortunate – this can look overwhelming!

But think about it in less grand terms:

Hospitality (which means ‘love of strangers’): you take your little ones to the playground – then meet someone and invite them to come in your home for a meal or snack – or tea!

Good works: I offer to babysit (which is actually like a playdate for my kids) while a friend runs to get groceries/run an errand. I make double the amount of supper to give a friend a meal on a rough day.

Washed the feet of the saints? This could mean a nice pedicure – or if you think about the principle behind this practice, it could mean something as simple as folding her clean laundry while you chat, or it could mean working to love her as she likes to be loved (speaking in a way that shows you care about her – not yourself [and giving a pedicure is not out of the question!!]).

Caring for the Afflicted: visiting those in the hospital, cleaning the bathroom for someone who has just had a baby. Sometimes this may mean letting your neighbor’s kids into your home and ministering to them – showing them what a family of God looks like.

Think of Proverbs 31. This woman was not just taking care of her own husband and kids. She had servants and they had kids (husbands), there were people that she looked after because it was her responsibility. She didn’t do everything herself – she managed everything! What did her children learn from this? Did they learn how to serve and love others? Did they practice this?

This woman is a glory to her husband – she is his GLORY!

She was his glory because of her heart attitude while she was his wife, while she mothered his children, while she gave hospitality, while she washed the feet of the saints, while she cared for the afflicted.

What is your heart attitude? Whose glory are you seeking?

We are Christ’s bride – and so must seek to be HIS Glory – He has washed and cleansed us – He has clothed us with His own beautiful Glory – and we shine!

Ezekiel 16 talks about God’s amazing mercy to His unfaithful bride – how she was an unwanted babe, left on the hillside to die – her cord was not even cut, she was not cleaned, nor loved.

But God said to her, Live! And he made her flourish and grow into a young woman – she became his bride. He clothed her in fine linen and jewels. She ate only the best food, she grew beautiful. Verse 14 says, “And your renown went among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you, declares the LORD.”

God’s glory – she was His Glory.

But she wanted her own glory, her own pleasure, her own renown. The rest of the chapter tells in great detail of her faithlessness – how she sought after any and all other men (idols) – how she was a princess – and now was a porn star.

We cannot read this chapter and not be utterly disgusted with how awful our sin is to God, and yet how merciful He is when we repent and seek His Glory – and not our own.

We are glory seekers. But we are flawed by the effects of sin and we seek our own glory instead of God’s.

We need to ask the question: Whose glory am I seeking?

One way I find helpful is: How am I loving God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength right now? How am I loving my neighbor as myself right now?

[This talk was given to a women’s gathering in East Asia in the fall of 2012]